Stop the Negative Self-talk!

As a coach with Your Best Moment Performance Coaching, Elyssa Smith helps performers uncover the purpose behind their talent and passion in order to overcome performance anxiety and tap into unprecedented confidence and success. Working primarily with speakers, athletes, and musicians, Elyssa’s passion is to help them hone their mental game to beat the negative self-sabotage cycle that most people face leading up to a big moment. As a triathlete, pianist, and public speaker herself, she has faced and overcome performance anxiety, and also has learned to help people perfect their poise and presentation in front of a crowd. Helping people conquer fear and present themselves well is Elyssa’s coaching and speaking sweet sp

photo credit: Ray Bouknight


If you boiled life down to one philosophy that brings meaning and adds value to your life no matter what circumstances you face, what is that philosophy for you?

Stay in the moment. When I ask God for direction, typically He only lays out the next immediate step for me. When I get ahead of myself, or when I dwell on the past, I am not at rest. My best moments come from being present here and now, especially when I am driving hard toward a goal.

What are one or two keys to success for you? 

Elyssa SmithGratitude is number one. It got me through the longest triathlon I ever did. Instead of dwelling on the pain, I thought of all the reasons I was blessed to be doing the race (for example, the fact that I had two working legs, and my father-in-law had just had an amputation surgery). Being grateful takes the focus off any difficulty I am facing and gets me out of the victim mentality that life is happening “to” me. When I am in the driver’s seat of my own choices, I am empowered to be successful.

What is one of the biggest mistakes you've made and what did you learn from it?

When I didn’t place at a national scholarship competition, I believed that my worth was low based solely on my lack of recognition. Once I got through the disappointment, I spent time searching out how to overcome performance-based self-worth. From that experience I learned our hardest times are when we have to be the gentlest with ourselves. And everything happens for a reason; so I don’t need to question outcomes, I just need to trust I will be taken care of.

What is your best advice for people who want to SHOW UP AND SHINE? In other words, what would you say to help people live into their bigger story?

Stop the negative self-talk! When heading toward success, if we allow the doubts to curb our dreams, we will never make more progress than two steps forward, one step back. By retraining your mind to replace negative self-talk with positive self-talk (ie: gratitude), you will pave the way to success with fewer lasting setbacks!


Question: How do you stop the negative self-talk and turn into a more positive direction?