Fail Forward
Failure should be our teacher, not our undertaker. Failure is delay, not defeat. It is a temporary detour, not a dead-end street. —William A. Ward
Anyone with a pulse knows that failure is a part of life, but there’s something that separates those who move forward from those who remain stuck.
What is it?
They have learned to live life with their backs to the past.
In other words, they don’t camp out in their history or walk backwards through life with their eyes glued to what has been. Instead, they reflect on past events (both good and bad), learn and grow from each one, and then continue to live it forward.
So, the next time you stumble or fall, here are a few thoughts that will help you bounce back stronger and smarter.
Fail Forward
It’s okay to be upset. Go ahead, get ticked at yourself; just don’t stay there. Give yourself a specified period of time to be disappointed. After that, move on.
“Failing” and “being a failure” are not the same thing. In his book, Failing Forward, John Maxwell says, “Every successful person is someone who failed, yet never regarded himself as a failure….I think it’s safe to say that all great achievers are given multiple reasons to believe they are failures. But in spite of that, they persevere. In the face of adversity, rejection, and failing, they continue believing in themselves and refuse to consider themselves failures.”
The reality is, failing at something doesn’t make you a failure. Not getting back up. Not pivoting. Not trying something new. Those responses are what make you a failure.
Learn, learn, learn. Perhaps you’ve heard this parable before, but it’s worth repeating. A young businessman was eager to learn from an older businessman, so he asked, “Can you tell me what it takes to become wise?” The older man said, “Two words: good decisions.” The younger man said, “Well, can you tell me how you learned to make good decisions?” The older man said, “One word: experience.” The younger man said, “One last question. How did you gain experience?” The older man said, “Two words: bad decisions.”
The way you turn lemons into lemonade is to learn from bad experiences. So, the next time you fail, don’t just get through it. Learn from it. Over time, you’ll likely discover that many of your biggest failures eventually lead to your greatest life lessons.
Take a fresh look at your mission and goals. When you experience failure, it’s a good time to review your life mission and goals to make sure you’re moving in the right direction. So slow down and think deeply about what your life is about (i.e., your mission) and where you’re headed (i.e., your goals). You may discover you need to update a few things.
Look for new opportunities. Failure can create unexpected opportunities to improve your life. For instance, after getting engaged, my fiancée and I eventually realized that marriage was not right for us. We were both crushed, and the months that followed were some of the saddest and most confusing of my life. Yet, through several events that felt random but were providential, within less than a year, I was dating the woman who eventually became my wife.
Here’s another example. My biggest professional failure ultimately led me to becoming the executive director of a national youth organization. And what I learned in that position later helped me start two successful businesses. So a mistake that I thought would ruin my career actually opened up opportunities to expand the type of work I do!
Time to Respond
In conclusion, you will experience failure. Everyone does. The difference is in how you respond to it.
Walk backwards through life with your eyes glued to what could’ve and should’ve been, and you’ll languish.
Live your life with your back to the past—learning and growing as you go—and you’ll thrive!
Photography Copyright: 123 RF Photos / Ammentorp
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